«Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?»

«Chandler: I can't say hump or screw in front of the b-a-b-y... I just spelled the wrong words didn't I?»

«Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it. I don't think that was my point.»

«Ross: What if there is only one woman for everybody? You know. What if I get one woman and that's it? Unfortunately in my case there was one woman... for her. Joey: Ross, relax that's like saying there's only one flavour of ice-cream for you. Let me tell you something Ross, there's lots of flavours out there. There's rocky road, cookie dough and bing! Cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies or nuts, or whipped cream. Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon! Ross: I honestly don't know wether I'm hungry or horny. Chandler: You stay out of my freezer.»

«Joey enters wearing an elf costume. Chandler is in agony] Chandler: Too many jokes. Must mock Joey.»

«Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing... Your parents never gave you a chance.»

«When I read the script of Chandler, I thought WOW I can really shake hands with this guy. Chandlers a sarcastic guy, dry, funny - a guy who's not comfortable unless he's joking and hiding the emotional stuff that's going on with him. And Yeah, I can relate to that a bit.»