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Letter "J" » Joan Rivers Quotes
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«Never admit that your back goes out more than you do.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«Whenever there's a new baby in my family, even if I don't know who the father is, I display pictures of it. But only one or two per child. No one wants to see 37 pictures of your grandchild - which is also why you must never carry more than one picture of each grandchild in your wallet.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«Get a pet, an animal you will love and one that will love you in return. In your home, there should be something besides the rugs to take care of. Get a pet that will stain those rugs and you'll have a happier home.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«We were hoping to meet Mr. Right. We didn't even get a wink.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«I am going into alligator alley.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«Your anger can be 49 % and your comedy 51 %, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 %, the comedy is gone.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«He is so short, he may be here today. Look under the tables.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«You could have had Rosie O'Donnell here to talk about how to be straight. Like no one knew she was gay.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«How could she not be happy? She was tall, thin, gorgeous and rich, rich, rich, with a husband who didn't want to sleep with her, two normal children and she had a crown.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«I was not a pretty child. I developed humor to be accepted.»
Author: Joan Rivers
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